Cold As You
by angel.star.candy
Summary: Harry is remembering, and contemplating his marriage with Lucius Malfoy. Warnings. Slash, language, angst ONESHOT SONGFIC.


A/N: I KNOW I should be working on All's Fair in Love and High School, but this idea has been nagging me for god knows how lon

A/N: I KNOW I should be working on All's Fair in Love and High School, but this idea has been nagging me for god knows how long, not to mention it's a nice one-shot.

Disclaimer: Do you honestly think I'd be posting this on the internet if I was making money off of it?

Warnings: Slash, a bit of angst, language

Harry sighed. He was not happy. He thought he'd finally found happiness after the end of the Great War. After all, he had two loyal friends, a surrogate family in the Weasleys and the former Hogwarts staff. He lived more than comfortably with his spouse of five years, and lover for ten. He smiled softly thinking about his husband and lover, but even the most dense Weasley could tell that it was not a true smile. In fact, if you looked into his eyes you would see a great pain wash over him.

_You have a way of coming easily to me_

_And when you take, you take the very best of me_

_So I start a fight cause I need to feel something_

_And you do what you want cause I'm not what you wanted_

The music whispered softly over the wizarding radio. Harry looked up, surprised. Why was a muggle song on the wizarding radio? More importantly, how did the song find the same exact words that were escaping himself.

_Flashback: "LUCIUS POTTER-MALFOY!! WHERE THE HELL HAVE YOU BEEN?" A very pissed-off Harry Potter was attacking the familiar face of his husband in the bedroom fireplace. "I THOUGHT YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU WOULD BE RETURNING AT 17.00 (1) TODAY?? IT'S BLEEDING 17.30!!" _

"_Calm down Harry, there is absolutely no need for this fuss. The house elves are going to be appalled at such un-Malfoy-ish behavior. Compose yourself before you dare utter another word. I was just flooing in to tell you that there is another extended meeting, and to tell the kitchen elves that I will not be joining you for dinner, that is all. Now good-…" Lucius realized at the last second that his spouse was absolutely FURIOUS. _

"_YOU PROMISED ME THAT YOU WOULD HAVE DINNER WITH ME TONIGHT!! IT WOULD BE THE FIRST TIME IN MONTHS THAT WE WOULD ACTUALLY HAVE SOME TIME TOGETHER OR HAVE YOU COMPLETELY FORGOTTEN YOUR HUSBAND!!" For once the man in question actually had the decency to look ashamed, if only for one brief second. Then the Malfoy mask returned with reinforcements. _

"_I am only doing my duty Harry, as you have well to remember. The only reason I am still in the Ministry is because of you, and now I have to prove my worth. Now I must depart. Don't stay up for me, for I shall be quite late." And with a poof he was gone, leaving Harry crying in the master bedroom. _

Harry grimaced at the memory. That was yesterday, and Lucius hadn't returned until well past midnight. Today he had left before Harry had even woken up. He didn't even leave a note for the young lover. He waved his wand and turned the music up. It was as if someone was reading his mind.

_Oh what a shame, what a rainy ending given to a perfect day_

_Just walk away, ain't no use defending words that you will never say_

_And now that I'm sitting here thinking it through_

_I've never been anywhere cold as you_

_Why_ did Lucius have to ruin his happiness? Why did he have to constantly leave and act so cold to the one person that Harry thought he loved. Obviously Lucius hadn't been this way when they first started seeing each other. In fact then he had been a true gentleman.

_Flashback: "Mr. Potter may I congratulate you on the defeat of the dark lord?" Lucius's silky voice wove through the young savior's ears as he turned around to look at the Malfoy patriarch. Before he managed to utter one word to respond to the handsome blonde in front of him, Ron came dashing in. _

"_HARRY!! Did you hear about Malfoy?? I can't believe…" Ron stopped dead in his tracks when he saw who was right behind Harry. He quickly finished his sentente, though in an almost whisper"…that he was always on our side." Ron then made a quick turn and left the room. _

"_Well Mr. Potter? Do you have an answer, or did that leave with young Mr. Weasley?" Harry tried to answer but for some reason he could not. Malfoy was being civil to the Weasleys of all people. He quickly recovered and managed to answer the question. _

"_Thank you Mr. Malfoy, I guess. I mean, I'm not exactly happy that I'm a murderer..actually sir, I'd rather not talk about it. Too much happened that night, we lost too many good witches and wizards that night, and…and…" Oh dear god, he was NOT going to go there. Even Ron and Hermione didn't know about those feelings yet. What did MALFOY do to open him up about this?? "Sir, why did you switch sides?" he finished quietly, not expecting an answer, and when he received one he was quite shocked. _

"_That, Mr. Potter is a long story, that I would love to share with you….over dinner perhaps? This Friday work for you?" Harry only managed to nod. Malfoy sweeped out of the room in great splendor, and only afterwards did Harry realize what had happened. He was going on a date with Lucius Malfoy. Ex-Death Eater turned spy. _

The rest, as they say, was fairy tale history. They fell in love, got married, and here they were. Seven years later, and still in love…at least he thought they were in love. These days he wasn't so sure. After all, he never saw his beloved husband.

_You put up walls and paint them all a shade of gray_

_And I stood there loving you and wished them all away_

_And you come away with a great little story_

_Of a mess of a dreamer with the nerve to adore you_

Harry slowly got up from his seat by the fireplace. The same fireplace that he had fought with Lucius in just last night. He went over to their shared bed and sat down. He needed to think. He loved Lucius, he knew that. Only, now, with the Slytherin acting all too much like his House, he wasn't sure if love was enough to keep him here.

The Manor was cold and dreary. He didn't get to see his two friends and their respective families enough. Especially Ron. Since Hermione was married to Draco, they had family get-togethers frequently enough, but they were stiff and formal. Ron and Pansy were even harder to see. The odd couple having gotten together in their seventh year, and now living in France with their two children. Harry really missed them. After all he was the kids' godfather.

_Oh what a shame, what a rainy ending given to a perfect day_

_Just walk away, ain't no use defending words that you will never say_

_And now that I'm sitting here thinking it through_

_I've never been anywhere cold as you_

The chorus played once more. Harry just sat there and listened, thinking back to his friends. He suddenly made up his mind. He couldn't take this anymore. He had to get out of here. He deserved some happiness. He quickly packed whatever few belongings he valued, headed toward the door, when he realized he should leave a note. Then he remembered that Lucius hadn't even bothered with that this morning and decided to forget about it. As he left the room the song starter to die down..

_You never did give a damn thing honey but I cried, cried for you_

_And I know you wouldn't have told nobody if I died, died for you_

_(Died for you)_

_Oh what a shame, what a rainy ending given to a perfect day_

_Every smile you fake is so condescending_

_Counting all the scars you made_

_And now that I'm sitting here thinking it through_

_I've never been anywhere cold as you_

(A/N: Should I leave it here? I considered it, but I think the fic would have been to angsty for my personal tastes)

As he made fore the grand door, he saw Lucius there, with a small velvet box in his hand. When he saw his husband with all his junk, Lucius's heart stopped. He could not loose Harry. As for the man in question. He was staring right back at Lucius.

"Harry! What the hell are you doing?" Lucius tried to keep himself composed. He was a Malfoy after all. " You look as if you're leaving, why would you be leaving now? You never told me anything about a personal holiday."

Harry took a deep breath and simply stated his intentions "I'm leaving you. I'm tired of being ignored. I'm tired of lonely nights in bed, lonely dinners, never seeing my friends, and this depressine castle. I'm going to Hermione and Draco. The divorce papers will arrive as soon as I can find a solicitor. Good-bye Lucius, and good-luck." He tried to move past the taller man but was quckly stopped.

"What are you talking about Harry? I love you. I would never do anything to hurt you:" Lucius tried to breathe calmly through his nose. He did _not_ need this. Today of all days. "If you really must know, I've been so busy this last month because we were discussing starting a new department at the Ministry, and I've been elected to head it. That was decided two days ago, and for the last two days I've been organizing our anniversary Harry. It's today, unless you've forgotten (which you clearly have)" Harry's mouth was dropping. This was _not_ what he was expecting. "As you know Harry, I'm not used to this…concept of love marriages, and love in general. Narcissa was a marriage of conveniente, and us Slytherins are not known for having friends." Harry barely showed signs of a smile at the comment. He missed his friends. "If you really want to see your friends, you should have told me. Now let's get the house elves to put away your stuff and we'll talk about it after we enjoy our anniversary." He wrapped his arms around the slighter figure and leaned down to kiss him. As they broke apart he gently whispered "Happy Anniversary, Harry, and I'm sorry."

Harry smiled into Lucius's shoulder. For the first time in all the years he'd been seeing Lucius, the man had never apologized for anything in his life without being provoked to do so. Perhaps he would stay. After all, he loved the man.

A/N: DONE!! Well whaddya think? This is a LOT angstier than I usually write, but I hope you did ok, and I gave it a happy ending. Please leave a review if it so suits you. I'd appreciate it. The song belongs to Taylor Swift, and is called Cold As You. This idea has been nagging me for ages, so I'm really happy to have finished it. Hope you liked it.

AngelStarCandy


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